So it's yet another quiet day. Thank goodness.
Earlier I had to rant a little about the drama queens that now dominate television. Why? Why all the drama? Then there is hoarders, and people with compulsive problems.
What about people like me? My dad has Alzheimer's, my mom dies over 3 years ago from cancer, I have two older sisters, we're all different. We're definitely not rich. We're just hanging in there. I'm not asking for some celebrity hand out. I just think that they should make a reality show about real life people. Not all this staged drama and shit, and not being dramatic on purpose.
We have fun in our own ways, and we crack ourselves up all the time. Sure I'd love to have my own makeup line, or fragrance, but I'm not about to be fake to get it. Sure I'd love to be polished up and fancy, have the chance to feel a bit glamorous. Still I wont get drunk all over the place and have plastic surgery, and ruin a good relationship to do it either.
My version of glamorous is spending a few $ at sephora about once every 6 months, because that's all I can afford.
It's dealing with real life situations, like seeing your own parent struggle because they don't know where they are, or who you are. It's trying getting the chance to go enjoy yourself at the beach over the weekend, then going back to work the next day. Having somewhere to be. Sure it may not seem exciting, but it's what a lot of people do themselves, or deal with.
I wake up at 5 am every morning to get ready, I commute, I make still what is considered borderline low income. After leaving work I see my dad for a few minutes, than I go home, maybe make dinner, and then get ready for bed.
It may seem boring, and sometimes it is, but in that time span obviously I interact with people. I do normal things like go to the mall, have fun with my friends and lately a lot of time with my family.
I wish I could write a book about myself. The big, and little struggles that I have lived with. Sure I'm only 28, but I grew up quick. My mom was sick a lot of the time that I was growing up.Not having a lot of money growing up. The pressures that got to me in high school. The things I did that I am proud of, and maybe not proud of. Sure there was the point when I was young that I wanted to be out with my friends all the time. Then there was the time in my life that I did spend time doing things with my mom, and trying to comfort her when my dad got sick. Then there was the bad way that I handled things emotionally when she passed away. Then there is how I am now. Dealing with my dad, and there's in between, how I pulled myself out of a rut and found a way to heal. How I am trying not let things get the best of me when they get hard.
I wish that I was able to write about it, I don't have the time, the funds, or popularity that it takes to write a book right now. . It's just really hard for me to do. Plus there's always that question of does anyone really give a shit? Will they walk away with something from my book? I know that I will have the answers one day. I wont get them all at once. I want to believe that miracles happen over night, but I'm not going to live my life counting on it.
TTYL,
Little Miss Sunshine
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