My Easter

 So yes, I am a bit annoyed I guess I would have to say about everything going on. Lately it's like people are so inconsiderate, and selfish about things. 
 For instance how my cousin irritating me. First of all yes I know that she's going through a divorce, she's little miss Christian, and trying to take care of her son. The thing that's been irritating is that she went to college, got her degree, and everywhere she goes wants her to intern, well I'm sorry that's the way that nursing is. Plus she's so worried about having no money that she wants people to give because she is such a good Christian and she seems to be expecting god to fix all of her problems. Well she won't look for any job unless it's nursing, which she's going to HAVE to intern at. Then she complains she can't afford things.
 Then she emails my sister about Easter asking if I am going to make cookies, because her son loves them so much. Well she didn't ask if I was even going to be there. (apparently the happiness of her son is what matters the most, not the person cooking.)
 So I emailed her, she called me later asking again if I am going to send the cookies. I told her that I might have to work, so I'm not sure. (At that point I know I'm not making the cookies.) She said that if I have to work I can send them with my sister right? 
 Then she finds out that I am going somewhere on a boat and starts asking if we are renting it, etc. Starts telling me that she would love to take her son on a boat someday. He's 3 yrs old. He's not going to remember it, plus he would really be someone to worry about on a boat. So I eventually got off of the phone with her, but she never asked if I was coming. Nor did she even seem concerned about it. She was expecting me to make the cookies, all she was worried about was the cookies. 
 Then she started putting on her facebook how she needs to find a job in nursing and about her son, and thank god for all the good donations that she gets. To me it's seems like she's depending too much and her faith, and the goodwill of other people, and not enough on herself.


TTYL,
Little Miss Sunshine

This is let alone the fact they couldve emailed.me n asked me about.it. Nope theyre too worried what they want. What they think they deserve.

They email my sister n ask if im makin cookies bc their son loves them so much. But dont bother to ask if im coming.

I didnt want ro spend it with family anyway. Ive noticed certain people are a little selfish lately, so id rather not be around them.

Happy easter. I get to spend mine working. Then I get 2 relax at home.

Ive been keeping up with my jogging and fruit. ;)

Went on a boat on the delta for the first time yesterday. Had lots of fun n good eats.

Keeping up the good work.

 So I got to go on my walk yesterday. I've been sticking to the plan, I'm proud of myself. Now I have a feeling of accomplishment every day.
 I eat lots of fruits and veggies, and make sure that I eat my Activia. I've been feeling a lot better about myself and I've had a lot more energy. I don't feel sluggish or depressed.I'll give it two weeks before I weigh myself. It always takes a while to see the benefits of exercise.
 I'm not as worried about the stalker stuff the past week or two, because it seems like he's leaving me alone. Either that or Murphy's law is gonna bite me in the ass and he's gonna start bothering me again.
 The past two days at home have been a little rough though. My sister has been getting on my last damn nerve, and she's starting to say things that don't make any sense. 
 Maybe they make sense to her, but they don't make any to me. Something about "I hold everyone to very high standards, even though I can't live up to them myself." WTF????? That doesn't make any sense to me.
 All I want is for her to stop insulting me, and everyone else all the time. I told her that if she can't talk to me without some insult, than don't bother talking to me. She's my sister and I love her, but I need her to leave me alone until this all blows over and she stops insulting people. Or pointing out their flaws to make herself feel better.
 I'm so glad that my weekend is almost here. I'm debating what I want to do. Tomorrow I'm going to order a few things from Sephora, my number #1 store lately. They have a lot of great stuff. I'm always finding new things that I want to try. I just have to save up some money sometimes to get what I want.


TTYL,
Little Miss Sunshine

Still Sticking to the Plan

 So I made it on my walk yesterday, for 45 minutes. I didn't have the chance to go see my dad.I wanted to, but at the same time I wanted to have some time to myself. So I went home and ran to the store for dinner. Then I went for a walk while my sweetie was cooking.
 I had a ton of salad with little to no salad dressing,one small piece of steak, about 2 spoonfuls of potato salad. Aside from that I had mostly fruit, like a peach, a banana, and some strawberries, along with some Activia yesterday.
 Then when I was taking a shower of course my sister had to come home, come straight in there and start trying to talk to me when I can't hear her.
 I am doing pretty good with the diet that I am on. Tonight I'm hoping and looking forward to walking, but it's been raining out and I don't have a gym membership any longer. So I have to get a little creative with my workout. Luckily not everyone will be at home tonight, so I am hoping to dance, or something. If the weather is clear I do plan on going for a walk.
 I'm starting to feel better and more energized, now I'm just waiting for the weight to start coming off enough that I am able to notice it. I feel a lot less bloated which is good, but I keep having to pee like a maniac. At least I know that eating more fruit is really cleaning me out.
Last night I did get into a big fight with my sister. She was bitching about her weight, and yes she is significantly bigger than me. I tried to give her a few tips and she got mad at me saying that I was calling her fat. Which I didn't. Then of course she had to insult me and say that I would never be to my goal weight. (Whenever someone tries to give her advice on anything she gets mad. Or whenever someone is insulting to her she has to insult someone else by pointing out there flaws.It drives me nuts, I don't want to be a mean person, but if she keeps insulting me, I'm gonna have to do it to her. )
 She's my sister and I forgive her, I have to stick to my goals and plans though. I'm not gonna let her be mean and get away with it.
Tonight I'm supposed to make fried chicken. I might have a smidgen, but my main plan is to eat some asparagus. I don't really feel like eating a bunch of greasy food right now. I once again get to battle with myself again.
 I know that my sister's going to come home and be like "thats bad for you" like we don't already know. She does that with everything that we eat. She does it to everyone. It drives me insane. So I'll have to start doing it to her.
Wish me luck.

TTYL,
Little Miss Sunshine

Fruits & Veggies

 Well, I'm feeling a tad sassy this morning, just like yesterday.
 Ive been going for walks, and eating a lot of fruit in place of all the bad things that I have been indulging on lately. I have a terrible sweet tooth, and so far fruit helping my cravings.
 I don't want to try the 3 day fruit cleanse because I heard that it strips your body of some of the things that you need. That's the last thing that I need right now because I've been stressed out enough as it is.
 It's only been two days, but I plan to keep it up. I'm not going to obsess about how much I weigh, I'm not touching a scale until it's been two weeks since I started integrating more fruits and exercise into my diet.
 I don't like the obsessive part of me to take over. I want to feel good, and feel that I look good, and have nice glowing skin. My skin always seems better when I've been exercising a lot.
 I've started by power walking, and will eventually start to jog again. I want to take it slow so I stick to doing it every day. Sometimes I have to fight myself to exercise. So I keep telling myself that I have to keep this up. I'm also drinking less coffee and more water or tea. Along with eating fruits or veggies, or at least drinking some kind of smoothie if I'm on the go.


TTYL,
Little Miss Sunshine

Weekend Sephora Trip

 Good Morning,
 So over the weekend I went to Stanford Shopping Center with my sisters and niece. We had a great time and of course they have my favorite store... Sephora. I got to look a little bit, but my sisters really aren't makeup people, they wear makeup, but their not willing to spend much money on it. I always feel like I can spend hours in Sephora, just looking at the products, trying to choose what I want to buy depending on my budget. Now I go online a lot, look at what I have an interest in, and then go straight to it at the store.
 While I was there I chose some concealer. I was trying all kinds of concealers while I was there. I've heard some great reviews about Benefit Boi-ing. They call it an Industrial strength concealer. Well in the past I have had trouble with concealers because they can start to show through your makeup, or you might have trouble finding the right shade. I like this concealer, it helps cover my dark circles, and little blotches that I have because of a pimple or two. It doesn't feel heavy, and it doesn't lighten too much under my eyes.
http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P1273&shouldPaginate=true&categoryId=5333

TTYL,
Little Miss Sunshine

Im feeling a tad sassy this morning.

Laugh with me Lee Lee

This is a fragrance that I bought a mini of at sephora. I always buy mini's so that I have a lot to choose from on a budget. It's a floral/fresh mix. It smells great . I even got a few compliments about it at work. Guys telling me that I smell really good, and the girls asking what fragrance it is. The full sized of this scent is only $36 at sephora. I love it, the full sized is a purchase I'm going to be making in the future.
http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P237124&shouldPaginate=true&categoryId=5333

Right now there are limited time specials at sephora. I take a look at their site about once a week to see if there is any needs of mine that can be fulfilled on a limited budget. People ask why spend so much on makeup and body care. It usually lasts you a long time. Plus it's a good way to treat yourself. I consider it an investment. Buy small, figure out whats right for you.  :)
http://www.sephora.com/promo/beautybonuses/index.jhtml?pageCode=ws&_requestid=18687

I go to a sephora that's inside jcpenny's inside stonridge mall in pleasanton, ca. http://www.simon.com/mall/default.aspx?ID=1242
There is also a sephora in the mall as well, but I like the one in the jcpenny's. That's just my own personal choice.
 Either way if you want a good treat for yourself, or need help getting beauty answers this is the place to go. The sales associates there are always helpful, and will make your shopping trip a success.

TTYL,
Little Miss Sunshine

Makeup Addiction continued...

 I didn't really have time to finish blogging about this things that I bought at Sephora the other day. I also bought something for the eyes, because along with the dark circles I also tend to get a lot of puffiness. I don't think it's allergies, and it was never this bad before, but my sisters both get a lot of puffiness so I think that it's a hereditary thing. I tried the Sephora Collection's Instant Depuffing Roll on Gel.
http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P276324&categoryId=C11724&shouldPaginate=true
 At first I didn't see that much of a difference, but after a few days my eyes were looking a little bit brighter, and not so puffy. I also noticed that the less puffy my eyes are, the less you can see the wrinkles.
  I also bought Benefit Full Finish lipstick. I love it. Can't live without it. No more caked on lipstick, and it stays on a long time. The color that I got was "Saucy" which is a tangerine or orange-ish color. I can't seem to find that shade online, but if you are looking for a summery color, I would say something in a coral or orange range.
http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P215938&shouldPaginate=true&categoryId=5333


Today I ordered a few things. Once I get them and give them a try I will let you know.
TTYL,
Little Miss Sunshine

Makeup Addiction

 It seems as though I have a makeup addiction. It's been there since I was a kid. I always got into my mom's makeup... always. In Junior High I used to steal my mom's makeup, oh boy was she pissed. 
 Now that I am an adult I have my own means to buy it, so it's not that bad. Then I went to Sephora, a wonderfully colorful store full of makeup, skin, and body care.
 First I bought the Bare Escentuals customizable starter kit. The sales associate helped me make sure that I got the correct coloring. Omg my skin is so soft. It also hides my uneven skin tone. I bought the Matte foundation (which is $3 more) because I have oily skin. This is a light weight product that helps a lot if you have oil and shine problems.
 The kit comes with a primer, which really does help, my makeup doesn't fade anymore yay!
http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P267207&categoryId=C16510&shouldPaginate=true

I also got Urban Decay Eye Primer Potion, which keeps my eye makeup right where it should be, and keeps my eyeshadow from fading and smudging. I love it.
http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P74310&shouldPaginate=true&categoryId=3806

TTYL,
Little Miss Sunshine

Sephora is very dangerous online, or in the store. Either way dangerously addicting.

Well things are looking up. Im gonna keeo it that way. :)

What I think Reality shows and books should really be about

 So it's yet another quiet day. Thank goodness.
 Earlier I had to rant a little about the drama queens that now dominate television. Why? Why all the drama? Then there is hoarders, and people with compulsive problems.
 What about people like me? My dad has Alzheimer's, my mom dies over 3 years ago from cancer, I have two older sisters, we're all different. We're definitely not rich. We're just hanging in there. I'm not asking for some celebrity hand out. I just think that they should make a reality show about real life people. Not all this staged drama and shit, and not being dramatic on purpose.
 We have fun in our own ways, and we crack ourselves up all the time. Sure I'd love to have my own makeup line, or fragrance, but I'm not about to be fake to get it. Sure I'd love to be polished up and fancy, have the chance to feel a bit glamorous. Still I wont get drunk all over the place and have plastic surgery, and ruin a good relationship to do it either.
 My version of glamorous is spending a few $ at sephora about once every 6 months, because that's all I can afford.
 It's dealing with real life situations, like seeing your own parent struggle because they don't know where they are, or who you are. It's trying getting the chance to go enjoy yourself at the beach over the weekend, then going  back to work the next day. Having somewhere to be. Sure it may not seem exciting, but it's what a lot of people do themselves, or deal with.
 I wake up at 5 am every morning to get ready, I commute, I make still what is considered borderline low income. After leaving work I see my dad for a few minutes, than I go home, maybe make dinner, and then get ready for bed.
 It may seem boring, and sometimes it is, but in that time span obviously I interact with people. I do normal things like go to the mall, have fun with my friends and lately a lot of time with my family.
 I wish I could write a book about myself. The big, and little struggles that I have lived with. Sure I'm only 28, but I grew up quick. My mom was sick a lot of the time that I was growing up.Not having a lot of money growing up. The pressures that got to me in high school. The things I did that I am proud of, and maybe not proud of.  Sure there was the point when I was young that I wanted to be out with my friends all the time. Then there was the time in my life that I did spend time doing things with my mom, and trying to comfort her when my dad got sick. Then there was the bad way that I handled things emotionally when she passed away. Then there is how I am now. Dealing with my dad, and there's in between, how I pulled myself out of a rut and found a way to heal. How I am trying not let things get the best of me when they get hard.
  I wish that I was able to write about it, I don't have the time, the funds, or popularity that it takes to write a book right now. . It's just really hard for me to do. Plus there's always that question of does anyone really give a shit? Will they walk away with something from my book? I know that I will have the answers one day. I wont get them all at once. I want to believe that miracles happen over night, but I'm not going to live my life counting on it.

TTYL,
Little Miss Sunshine

There needs to be a reality show ab people with real life struggles, not some stupid documentry no one wanfs ti watch.

Why cant someone make a reality show ab normal people like me, instead of a bunch of drama queens.

Sometimes you need someone to show they love you once in a while.

Moodiness

 Why do men have to be so frustrating? I do everything that I can, and he still can't be pleased. I love him, and I know that he loves me, and we're going through a rough patch because of his workman's comp. It's frustrating I'm, and since the beginning he hasn't wanted my help. So I suppose the best thing to do is put up with it. I feel like I have to walk on egg shells about everything. Every little thing seems to set him off. So I guess that I have to close myself off from him, that's what he seems to be doing to me.
 I'll still be perky, but just not express anything to him, nothing at all. That's really hard because I feel like I can't be myself. I have to sit here and pretend that every thing's alright with him. OR I can let I'm rant, but not cater to him, because I think he just wants to be left alone, so I'll let him be alone. I won't ask ow his day is, won't tell I'm about mine, because you know that might be selfish in some way. I wont call to see how he's doing, and just wont stand in his way.
 It's like all I want is a little peace, and a little time to spend in my head, and everyone wants me to do something for them. Sure I know that I used to, but now no one seems to appreciate it, so I stopped doing things. I ave enough burdens already, and now I just have more. I still wish that I could go lock myself in a closet somewhere and get some peace and quiet, but that will never happen.
 Tonight I;m gonna go for a walk or something by myself. I just need to force this frustration out somehow, and move on from it. I'm tired of people trying to take me down with them.

TTYL,
Little Miss Sunshine

This morning im feeling frustrated. Men are difficult sometimes, doesnt mean I love mine any less tho

A little Comfort

 Well there's not a whole lot that I have to talk about today. The shit going on with my dad is irritating, but I'm dealing. It's just kinda hard when he thinks you're his wife, or that he has to get ready for work, and he's been retired quite a while.
 Other than that I am not feeling as stressed about my stalker situation. I have taken a few precautions, and am sticking to them. I need a little comfort sometimes. I have to protect myself because I don't think anyone thinks that this is really an issue. I'd rather be left alone, but the powers that be just aren't going to let that happen. So I have done what I can to protect myself, and god willing defend myself if anything bad were going to happen. It doesn't seem like it will. It's not like I've been threatened. It's more like these people are trying to force me into a friendship, and I'm resisting because they're being so weirdly persistent about it. They seem to be living in their own illusion where I am their BFF, even though we have made no memories together, they couldn't tell you anything about my likes and dislikes aside from what you can find on my facebook page. I want them to leave me alone, and the more someone says that to them the more they obsess about it, or whine about how much they think they love me.
 Tonight I'm going to go home, so some laundry and veg for a while. Screw making dinner, I'm tired of it. I love cooking, but not lately. By the time that I get home I want to veg,or something for myself. Lately I have had that screw everyone else attitude, only because I've been getting that vibe from everyone else. Don't get me wrong, I'm not stuck up, but I know I'm a bitch they key is to use it only when necessary.


TTYL,
 Little Miss Sunshine

Not felling as frustrated or paranoid today

Rant, rant, rant

 So I still haven't figured out what to do about my situation. For right now I'm going to try to put it in the back of my mind, unless of course my stalker shows up again.
 This morning I was talking about a friend and she said maybe I should just approach the guy directly. I don't know if I really want to, because it might make him think that I want to talk or see him.
"Look here buddy we need to talk about this because I am getting very frustrated.  For some reason think that I am really close to you. You don't really know me that well. First of all, the night that I didn't go to dinner I was told that you thought that I didn't like you. I liked you as a friend until you started saying things like that. My fiance keeps telling you that I need space. You apparently found the need to comment all over everything that I was posting on my facebook, and email me asking if I was mad at you and telling me that you were so concerned about me. Friends that I have had my entire life don't even do that. They just leave me be to live my life, so I got tired of the comments and emails blocked you. Well then you sent me a card. It's great that I have your support, but I think that you're thinking about me too much, and need to back off. I need my personal space. I am a very busy person, it's really not even your business what is going on with my family. It's a family matter, not your matter. When it comes to being busy I hardly have the time to see my close family and friends. How do I have the time to come all the way out there to see you? I don't even have time to myself. The only time that I have where I am truely alone is when I am in the car commuting somewhere.
 Then you show up on my doorstep at 6am when I'm trying to get ready for work. You said you were looking for my fiance, what the hell makes you think that he would be up at that hour?
 That started making me uncomfortable. Then whenever you talked to my fiance you were asking about me, how's my dad, do we need anything? Why wasn't I talking to you? It's obvious that you have no respect when someone tells you that you need to give them space.
 So I got tired of people knowing too much so I deleted a whole bunch of people from my facebook page, including you and your wife, because I didn't want you going onto her fb page and watching mine from there.
 Then a few weeks later you called my fiance asking why I deleted you. Because I need space. I want to know that I can get ready for work without someone knocking on my door. I want to feel like I can say what I want, when I want, without having someone commenting on every single thing.
 So less than a week after talking to my fiance you just show up. No you didn't get out of your truck, but you started asking why I wasn't out there to see you. You started asking about my dad's situation. Honestly it's not your business. You should call my fiance before coming over. I understand that you're a really intense person or whatever, but I need my personal space. I don't need people constantly asking about me, or sending me things, or showing up. Please just stop. Let me have my own life."

TTYL,
Little Miss Sunshine

OMFG LET ME HAVE SOME PEACE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 I think the whole stalker thing is getting out of hand... or at least a little worry some.
 So the dude had been blocked so he and his wife sent me a "thinking of you" card signed bff. They told us how much they loved us and all that bs. The whole time I'm going WTF you don't know me that well.
 My sweetie just keeps up the same mantra of he doesn't have that many friends, or he's just really intense. The same thing about the guy asking about me all the time, or calling to ask, it's annoying me. I think that this guy doesn't understand it. The more they bug me, the more they are ignoring the fact that I said I need to be away from everyone.
 Well I deleted him a few weeks ago. 
 I've been making a lot of changes.
 In the mean time (about two weeks ago) the other crazy chick that had been bugging me came over uninvited when we had people over. I was standing in our garage and she was like "Are you mad at me?" I told her I just need some space from people right now.
 Well she got in my face asking the same question over and over. Yeah maybe it was stupid of me saying that I don't want to talk about it right now because I didn't want any drama bc we had a friend over for his birthday. She got up in my face and I told her to back up. Then she was standing in my driveway cussing me out. The saddest thing is I know that I was sober. Finally my sweetie and his friends came out and made her leave. I told her to get the F*$% out of my driveway. Don't you dare talk to me like that on my own property.
 The next day someone at work, who happens to know me pretty well called me out on the fact that I have been depressed, and not been myself lately. I have been. I fight myself about food, I'm frustrated about my dad's declining health. Alzheimer's isn't easy to deal with, at least emotionally. I feel like I can;t come home and have any peace. Either it's the fact that there is always someone home. Maybe it's because I have these people I don't know very well appearing at my house, or calling, or texting, or sending cards, or emailing. Enough is enough.
 Well I took a week off of work with my bosses blessing. (she's so awesome for letting me do that I think she new I was having a nervous breakdown.) I went and stayed with a friend for a few days. Relaxed, didn't worry about my phone, or my fb, what was going on at work or home, not a damn thing. I told my worry wart sister that always calls for stupid shit that she could call my sweetie, because I didn't want to be disturbed.
 When I came home I remade myself. Bought some new makeup, got a massage, got my hair done, got a mani-pedi. I'm also keeping up on the hair and makeup every day.
 A few days ago stalker man called my sweetie, asking how I was and why I deleted him and his wife. He told him that I deleted a lot of people. That I have been needing my space from people a lot.
 Yesterday he just kinda showed up with his wife. I was about to leave with my sister to go somewhere, so I went running to her room and hid. I made my sister go see what was going on, but I guess that they stayed in their truck and my sweetie went and talked to them. He told them that I was sleeping. They asked if they could come in and see me, but he said no I needed my rest. I know that my sweetie is getting tired of this, and keeps saying this guy is intense, and that I have to get used to him. He's being creepy. Anyone that doesn't know you that well and worries too much about you being their friend, or being mad, isn't just insecure, they're immature, and possibly a little bit psycho.
 Anyone else that has heard about this thinks this guys got some issues to. Not my sweetie, he doesn't think there's anything wrong here. What's it gonna take this guy breaking in and killing me in my sleep? Waiting for me outside my house. If I find him at my work, I'm gonna turn around and drive away and have security remove him. I'll call the office and have them say that I called in until he leaves or something.
 I've been told that the more I avoid a stalker, the more they will be spurred on. He hasn't done anything that the cops would give a restraining order for. Obviously my sweetie doesn't think he's a threat. Even though he keeps irritating me, and I can't be left alone by anyone apparently.
 I'm going to have to handle tis by being a big bitch instead. I don't think anyone wants to see this, because I've been told by my sisters that I've been a frigid bitch since birth. Wish me luck people. I'm going to ave to channel my inner biatch, this wont be pretty.

TTYL,
Little Miss Sunshine